What the hell are we doing?

So.. I'm updating against my will. 

Lee needs to talk about her laundry incident more. Actually, she needs to actually DO her laundry. 

H'okay, so there is not really that much going on in the Kelly's life. Work is silly. I get paid for being yelled at! YAYYY! 
 

the Kelly just finished the dishes. She got to encounter Lee Lee's lasanga. Oooooh diddily. LJ friends, Lee Lee should invite you all to our place for a piece of her lasanga.. 

<3 <3 to all.

 

SHOW ME THE TOLIET PAPER LEE LEE!

So the title should explain it all. As kelly shouts Vagina from the bathroom. She wants me to update this as it seems we have abandoned the willettness.

I can hear Kelly peeing. and her vagina talks to me sometimes.

okay. so me and kelly like things different temperatures. I like them warm and she likes them cool. She's hot all the time, and I'm cold all the time. 

So I turn up the heat and she opens all the windows. I really don't like this. I'm really cold right now. she's sweating
she had her underwear around her knees fanning her vag. And I know that sounds awkward. but it's really just kelly. and for some reason. I'm just comfortable with life. I'm at the desk. Kelly's leaning against the bureau. Jill's in my head. Making her laptop all checkered circa Rocksteady era of No Doubtness.

So. Kelly bought perfume. so she could smell like J-Lo. and then she doused herself with it this afternoon. and the whole apartment smelled like my grandmother. or J-Lo. It was hawtt.

I just saw kelly bum. everything is right in the world.

So. Story. this weekend .at 7:30. the phone rang twice. it woke the leelee up. she went and brought the kelly the phone. and was like kelly the phone keeps ringing. so she put it up to her ear. and was like hello. but there was noone on the phone. and then she was like. they don't want to talk anymore

Like most things. this was funnier. and smarter. in my head.

The end.

KELLY UPDATE THIS MOTHER FUCKING JOURNAL. OR ELSE. THERE WILL BE. NO. UM. NO. UH. TOILET PAPER IN YOUR LIFE.

YES THAT'S RIGHT. THE LEE LEE WILL HIDE THE TOILET PAPER!

*insert evil cackle here*

Okay, so Lee I have something to say.  Let's wipe our twats less. Since I've moved in we're on toliet paper roll NUMBER THREE! WTF are we doing? I think every second pee we should wipe, or maybe I'll mark off a certain amount of squares to use per whiping, so we use less.. HMMMM

-K

Lee here.

I wasn't anxious. I was scared shitless.

I saw my life flash before my eyes. it was scary. I figured I'd end up in a cell with a big woman named Bertha with sausage fingers..

um. sausage.

Yes I wouldn't let Kelly push me to elise's. because there's a big hill. and knowing kelly. she'd let the cart go.

There will be clean laundry in my life.

Outside they're digging mine and kelly's grave.

And I was going to type other nonsensical things. But. I forget.

Love, Lee Lee

OH MY GOD I REMEMBERED

Teletemarketers make me happy in the pants. HAPPY IN MY PANTS.

That is all.

So.. at 7:13 I made Lee Lee laugh soo hard she farted. 

I was talking about dogs, while she was talking about doing my daddy.. :(

At 5:21 this evening Crystal from the Halifax Daily News called wondering if we were interested in 7 day a week delivery for $2.30 a week.. I said no.. 


OMG, LEE! WE GOT OUR FIRST TELEMARKETER!!





note: I was a telemarketer back in the day.. and I sold papers.. ohh nostaligia!!

Kelly here. 

I'm here against my will, and am simply doing this so that Lee Lee won't pop a 'roid. 

Let me update you on the goings on these past few days. I've not successfully unpacked my entire life yet, but I assure I will! Next time I move the place I move to will have an elevator and not 20000 stairs that I climb while moving... my daddio did not enjoy it! So anyway, life goes on as planned. Lee Lee goes to work while I sit on my bum and well.. bum around and watch the first season of the L Word ( I fuckin' hate Jenny... I'm falling in love with Dana, which I know is bad for me for I have seen the other seasons :'( ). So anyway, that is my life! 


Last night was fun.. and is the reason I'm here in the first place. I met Lee Lee at our neighbourhood Sobeys after she got off of work! That was all fine and dandy and we got loads and loads of foodage! We got throught the check out and then realized that we had lots of bags and a nice walk home.. thus stealing the grocery cart was a necessity. Now, Lee Lee was worried, but I was not because I a) have the balls; and b)was eating chocolate.. we all know that while eating chocolate you have no worries at all!. We went out the back way to avoid the allusive yellow line that stops all carts dead in their path.. Lee Lee got me to push it most of the way home because the whole situation made her anxious.. Anyway, we got home and parked the buggy in our parking spot, for it is our mode of transportation now! Lee Lee wouldn't let me push her in the cart on her way to meet Elise.. that made me sad ...

 

Anyway, that's my life from here....

 

Love, peace and Anne Murray..

 

-K

Lee Lee is here with the kelly

okay we have ice cream. butterscotch. and spoons. fuck bowls.

and vibrators. say what?

so. me and kelly are sitting at our table. with our midget holder. You'd have to see it to believe it. Somebody should tell us what it's for.

Before we find some midgets. and hang them. on the holder.

So. me and kelly are meant to be together forever. as we were on separate planes (kelly is moaning right now. oh yeah I am that good)

we bought the same toothbrush. on opposite planes of the universe (i.e Truro and Halifax). So yeah. we're soulmates.

I love the kelly. <3

Kelly you own my soul. Be gentle.

Do my laundry? you wanna do my laundry *has orgasm*

Yeah.. I think I'd be okay with that..

Can I make you supper.. and your lunches to take to work.

 

Awww. Kelly. You're going to be here when?

 

It's just not soon enough.

I <3 my Kel Kel

I moved in stuff last night.

We have a microwave.

Life is exciting.

My first night in the apartment is tonight.

Have you seen the kelly?

I seem to have misplaced her...

*posts missing ads on milk cartons everywhere*